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Lately I’ve been feeling very emotional, mostly for valid reasons, but I noticed that this negativity has been causing me to react rather than to respond to my emotions. I have begun to show that side of me, which isn’t the one that I like and often do my best to keep in check and to mortify. As I entered yet another day filled with this poison and in search of how to become joyful, I went in search of inspiration from members of various online communities that have proven successful for me in the past.

After searching the TED app to seek videos about inspiration, I immediately remembered that there was a talk by Brene Brown on vulnerability that I hadn’t quite taken the opportunity to watch yet. As I looked for the video, I came across an interview of Brene by Jonathan Fields on “The Power of Being Vulnerable” on YouTube instead. Why I chose Brene, I’m not sure, but I did find a silver lining and light at the end of my seemingly dark tunnel.

 

The interview included “what it takes to live a good life, vulnerability as strength, how people handle judgment, the intersection between human nature and entrepreneurship, how to decide whose opinions matter, etc…”. Needless to say, it was chock full of great stuff that reminded me to reconnect with myself and my beliefs.  Being vulnerable is the opposite of what I have been doing. My behavior has totally been out of alignment with my belief of treating others as I would want to be treated. And I must be a bit vulnerable and tender hearted, if I am to treat others with compassion.

I believe that a big part of my retaliation was due to the fact that I am not necessarily doing what my heart and mind goes to when it wanders. I feel that my daily life has become mundane and ordinary. It has been difficult to find the moments to relish that used to bring me joy.

Ever since completing my work with the Houston Arts Alliance, my eyes have been opened to many new and wonderful possibilities that I hadn’t considered before.  My hope has been to begin traveling and to explore new cultures in hopes to shed light on untold stories. Admittedly, I don’t have all of the details, but I feel that this is something that I need to further explore.

I want to be more mindful, compassionate, and loving, above all.

Watching the interview helped to remind me that “my life is not my own”. I have been taking my negativity out on those closest to me and I see that I need to be more compassionate and loving. I want to be more compassionate, mindful of how I treat others, and loving, above all.

When I think about traveling there is this intense passion that arises in me and a smile spreads wide across my face. The last time I felt this way was when I returned to doing photography. Of course, I’ll be doing photography as I travel, but there is no shaking this feeling that I have. After reading in a recent post from Michael Hyatt that stated “…by noticing what stirs us emotionally, this is a step in moving toward our destiny and becoming all God made us to be.”, my passion has only grown.

I know God will lead me in the way that I need to go, but there is also some action required on my part. I pray that I will be able to make the right decision – wise decisions – that will allow me to be vulnerable and to be open to all that awaits me. I don’t want to miss out on what God has for me because disobedience or fear.

Have you ever felt like this?

If so, what did you do to overcome your negative emotions?

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